Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Three legs good

I work in Teddington. I often visit the pool. During the Summer the doors to the reception area are propped open, and a very friendly black cat strolls in and out, and sits in the doorway. I was stroking this cat last week and it rolled over, and I realised that it only had three legs. Now, it's possible for an animal to survive quite happily with 75% of it's full complement of legs. After all, it's possible to run marathons, or marry a Beatle, with only 50% of your quota of fully working legs, or fly an aircraft with 0%. How many legs does it take to sleep in the sun, cough up the odd furball, and do a lot of stretching?

But today I was thinking that there was a local character who I haven't seen for a few weeks, an older man who has a cute little terrier who also only has three legs. And I always see him in Budgens, which is about 20 yards from the swimming pool. And I started thinking. How often do you see an animal with three legs? Well, the only time I see them is in one tiny part of Teddington. There are three possibilities. Well, actually four, but I ignore the laughable possibility that it could be a coincidence.

Theory A: this chap lives very near, also owns the cat, and he is running some sort of sanctuary for three-legged pets.

Theory B: there is some sort of sinister chemical experiment whereby they put something in the water which causes birth defects and/or, the dissolving of existing limbs. This probably involves the water in the swimming pool. My left foot has been feeling a bit strange...

Theory C: the local burger bars and kebab shops have found business a bit slow of late, and are looking for a new source of meat. However, they don't want to raise suspicions by encouraging a rash of lost pet posters, so they are harvesting this supply very slowly...


Anonymous Pola Guna said...

Tell me more about Pagans in Teddington. I.E. Is there a regular group meeting and is it possible to affiliate with the said? I am a Teddington local, interested in Wiccan Ways.
Best Regards
Pola Guna

10:45 am  
Anonymous Strange Blue Ghost said...

Er...I'm not really sure I know any pagans in Teddington. There must be some.

12:06 pm  
Blogger Misty said...

I know of two three legged dogs, one three legged cat, and a two and a half legged rabbit in these parts. Also,I have noticed a fair few people stumbling out of my local completely legless at around 11pm some nights.
I think it's something in the beer...

1:11 pm  
Anonymous James said...

There's a lovely Wimpy in Teddington.

11:57 am  
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8:29 am  

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