I don't believe it.

It's not often that I write a serious post here. I know that there are several bloggers who see themselves as campaigners, who comment on the political establishment, but it's not really what I'm about.

There comes a time, however, when even I become outraged, when threats to our national traditions have to be exposed, and that time, for me, came at about 1pm yesterday, in a newsagents. I was buying a paper, and as I got to the counter, I noticed a box full of a certain type of chocolate bar.

They were, to all intents and purposes, Mars Bars. But they had been renamed "Believe". I was quite nonplussed. Was this a replay of the time when Marathon (an ancient word, commemorating a battle, and a sporting event, although, admittedly, with little relevance to a tasy peanut snack), was renamed Snickers (a silly word, a cross between knickers and sniggers, and with no more relevance to a tasty peanut snack)?

Had the manufacturers been given loads of cash by a shadowy American evangelist type organisation, in order to effect some sort of subliminal advertising, as a first step on the road to brainwashing, mind control, and world domination?

Had they wanted to market the snack to a more international market, and found that Mars meant "hair from a pig's bum" in Chinese?

Or is there some sort of anti-classical agenda here? Mars is, in classical mythology, the ancient god of war. Marathon was a famous classical battle. Yes, yes, I know, but I've got cleaning to be getting on with, and I can't be flicking around the internet trying to find out whether they're Greek or Roman. Is somebody in power wanting to erase such notions from the population, and deliberately dumb down our chocolate?

At home, I put my crusading journalist cap on and decided to investigate. I found the answer here. It's been renamed in honour of The World Cup.

I'm already bored and it's not even started yet. Please can we get this tedious business over with, can everybody take those silly flags off their cars, and can we have junk food with the correct labels again, please?